Ms. Clean

The Secret of Culinary Success

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From Karyl’s Cook & Tell Newspaper Column (March 10, 1977)

There’s this child of mine, this 12-year-old girl-child, and there’s this dilemma I’m having. This daughter has lately taken a shine to the kitchen.

I mean that quite literally. Not only is she suddenly beginning to cook like crazy, as if she invented tacos and pumpkin pie and brownies and sugar cookies. She has also begun to take on the kitchen, a kingdom in which I was once the exclusive benevolent despot, as a Prime Concern of hers. She is, of all things, beginning to clean up after me. If not nasty neat, she is becoming terribly tidy.

I am not convinced this is a good thing. I hesitate to explain my ambivalence, because in a few short sentences, my station as an efficient, organized, slick operator in the kitchen could be wrecked. I love having her help. But no matter how orderly that offspring of mine insists on being, there’s one thing I will not let her lay a pinky on. Listen to me, kiddo, you with the short and sassy haircut and the handful of sponges and scouring pads: Lay off my oven.

Some of you already know the story of my oven. It is not clean. The grungiest oven from Eastport to Block Island operates right here, in this old house, on this quiet island.

It has never been afflicted with Easy-Off. Its walls and racks have never felt the cruel, abrasive action of Ajax on enamel. Its dark interior (there’s no light in there) yields up the most confusing assortment of smells you ever laid nose on.

When a friend drops in for coffee and makes enthusiastic noises about how good everything smells, and your empty oven is only on preheat, you can appreciate just what kind of a legacy is left by years of chicken spatters, deep-dish apple pie overflows and spilled macaroni and cheese. When you retrieve an unrecognizable chunk of solid charcoal from the crusty cavern, you might even get a certain kick out of speculating on its identity, if you’re good at playing silly games. Last week’s peanut butter cookie, maybe, or lamb patty, circa 1974?

I’ll admit at first it was embarrassing, my lethargy regarding oven cleaning. Then it got disgusting. Finally, I quit apologizing to myself and the whole thing entered the realm of family tradition. Now I just love my oven with the 12-coat baked-on lacquer job. Can you imagine what would happen if a 12-year-old zealot was set loose in there with her cleaning kit? All that family tradition—perhaps the secret of my culinary success—lost. I shudder.

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Amie’s Headnotes

A recipe that involves baking would make sense after a story like this. I don’t know about you, but my own oven is on an extended summer vacation. Here’s a Cook it Easy favorite that also checks the Vegetarian box.

SCRAMBLED EGG QUESADILLAS

For each quesadilla (one serving):

• A few thin slices of green pepper

• A few slices (not rings) of onions

• Olive oil

• 2 eggs, beaten with salt & pepper

• 1/2 c. shredded Monterey jack cheese

• Two 6” white corn tortillas

• Salsa

Heat an electric skillet or griddle to 400◦ F. Meanwhile, cook the veggies in a little oil in a small nonstick skillet till tender-crunchy. Pour the beaten eggs over the veggies and corral everything into a flat omelette about the size of the tortilla. Cook till set without flipping. Sprinkle with half of the cheese and set aside.

Smear a little oil on the electric skillet or griddle and add a tortilla. Sprinkle with the remaining cheese and spread a big spoonful of salsa over it. Place the omelette, cheese side up, and top with the other tortilla. Press down with spatula for 2 or 3 minutes, then lift the spatula and cook till golden (or browned) on the bottom. Carefully turn and do the press-lift-cook thing again. Cut into quarters and serve with more salsa.

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Amie’s Endnotes

You guys were so enamored by the snapshot of my messy kitchen in the last issue, I thought I’d show you the stove this time around and offer evidence of my cleaning and tidying skills. The first photo is our old Hotpoint; the second is the not-really-new-anymore Maytag I gave my mom at the turn of the millennium.

Does the Maytag have a self-cleaning oven? Yes. Do I use it? No. As always, I’m preserving family tradition because I, too, am convinced the baked-on magic will disappear if I clean it.

note to Krysi: the pig collection on the mantel!

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Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode: summer fruit salads that scream MIDCENTURY and the return of the fabled Chocolate Chit-Chat Collection.

Your Pantry Pals,

Amie & Karyl

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