Orts & Reports: Making Whoopie & Epic Fails

Plus: A Penguin Selfie!

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Small Bite #1: The Whoopie Pie Festival

I don’t care what you say, Pennsylvania, the state of Maine is the birthplace of the whoopie pie. There’s a reason for that saying, as Maine goes, so goes the nation, am I right? And Dirigo, our state seal? It’s not just a clever motto. It means “I lead.” Got it?

And, okay, maybe this Maine girl, who graduated from Foxcroft Academy in Dover-Foxcroft, Maine—the official home of the annual Whoopie Pie Festival—is a bit biased, but I was there for the first-ever festival back in 2009 and let me tell you, it was a sight to behold.

Niece Kate after finishing the “Earn Your Whoopie Pie 3K Race” (c. 2009)

What’s more, the Maine State Legislature even declared the whoopie pie our official state treat (not to be confused with the official state dessert, blueberry pie, because of course it is). So, to Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Virginia and every other state, province, country or otherwise claiming origin rights to the whoopie pie, I say: we were here first.

Here’s a nod to the whoopie pie from Cooking Down East, one of my favorite vintage cookbooks. Please note: the book is not called “Cooking in Pennsylvania.”

If you’re in central Maine this coming Saturday, 6/22/24, haul ass over to the sweetest day in Maine, the Whoopie Pie Festival! D-F subscribers Judy and Cheryl, I await a full report.

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Small Bite #2: What Not To Cook

An indisputable truth: Sometimes cooking is an epic fail. In my endless journey through the 75,000 recipes on my test list, I’ve encountered the good, the bad, and the really bad. Some earned a double gold star, some were one-and-dones, and some were so horrific I felt compelled to create a “What Not to Cook” notebook to chronicle the fiascos. Earlier this year, I shared my failed blueberry scones in

Jillian Hess

’ always-inspiring Noted newsletter. Was it the baking powder that expired in 2016? A bad recipe? A bad cook? Whatever the reason, they will not be spoken of again.

In the spirit of full transparency, here are a few more kitchen fiascoes from my notebook:

Pomegranate Pineapple Upside Down Cake

This cake was so far beyond horrible, the dogs wouldn’t even lick the bowl. Don’t believe any of the hype over pomegranate molasses. It’s like sucking on a lemon. Even the canned pineapple rings were sour. And crunchy. But it was another baking first, an upside-down cake, and from a form perspective, it wasn’t bad looking, even if I haven’t fully mastered the convection/cake button on my desert oven.

Coffee Fudge

Last Christmas: I’m armed with an old Cook & Tell recipe, a double-boiler and a brand-new candy thermometer because the last time I made any form of fudge or candy, I was a kid in the kitchen with Karyl.

After an hour it still hadn’t reached soft ball stage. The scorched sugar became such an unbearably hardened and sticky mess, it melted my Teflon hand mixer beaters. A clean-up nightmare of monumental proportions. I’ll admit: My confectionary skills need work, but hard pass on making this again.

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Small Bite #3: The Penguin Strikes Again

In Cook & Tell’s recent Cherished Kitchen Treasure issue, readers submitted their…yeah. I am delighted to report that the Penguin, a vintage ice bucket and reader favorite, has achieved near-immortality status. Inspired by Arizona subscriber Beth and her Jello and whipped cream filled Penguin, New York subscriber Donna submitted a snapshot of the Penguin she inherited from her grandmother. “If anyone ever watched Arrested Development,” Donna writes, “you may have seen that Lucille Bluth also had one.”

When further probed, Donna confessed: “Basically, I’ve only used it as an ice bucket. Pretty boring if others used it for Jello desserts! I need to use it more!”

Donna’s Penguin: how can you not love this unique twist on the selfie?

And a late entry from new subscriber Fran, the non-Penguin kitchen treasure that started her cookbook-loving journey:

goldendoodlebe

A post shared by @goldendoodlebe

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I’ll close with another truth: Good or bad, cooking makes the world suck less.

Your Pantry Pal,

Amie