The Bread Also Rises

Shopper Bob and The Guy Aisle

From Cook & Tell, February 2012 & May 1998

According to a Procter & Gamble spokesperson (and my own personal experience with nearly every male I know), men are “very mission driven, very grab-and-go, get it done.” And, as discovered in focus group revelations that should astonish no one, many men are still “uncomfortable with the shopping experience,” so P&G set out to give the poor fellows “an experience that was more comfortable for them.” Bingo: “Guy Aisles.”

Today, guys are walking down the aisles all over the country, according to a recent McLatchey Newspapers report.

Cook & Tell subscriber Danny Meyer takes food-shopping a step further. When he walks into a grocery store, he goes with the flow. “I like to walk through all the aisles even if I don’t think I need anything there, because sometimes something will catch my eye.”

Stand aside when you see one of those mission-driven males. Give him a pat on the back if you can catch him.

Karyl’s Headnotes

Here on the home front, my Chief of Stuff, also known as Shopper Bob, lives to drop everything and go shopping for even a single grocery item I may be desperate for, any hour of the day or night. His occasional ad lib substitutions, in spite of repeated requests that he stick to the script and refrain from getting creative with the list, have often resulted in policy revision. His purchase of the new, fast-acting yeast, for example, gave rise to a great new bread recipe.

Karyl’s illustration from the “Born to Bake” chapter of her“Cook & Tell: No-Fuss Recipes & Gourmet Surprises” cookbook, published in 2001 by Houghton Mifflin

SISTER SESAME’S THREE-GRAIN BREAD

• ½ c. shelled pumpkin seeds

• ½ c. shelled sunflower seeds

• 6 c. all purpose flour

• 1 c. corn meal

• ½ c. rolled oats

• 2 envelopes (1/4 oz each) Fleischmann’s RapidRise yeast

• 2 T. salt, less if you like

• ½ c. honey

• ½ c. buttermilk

• 1 ¾ c. water

Roast seeds in dry frying pan, stirring constantly, til they crackle and turn golden. Place in large bowl with all dry ingredients, stirring to mix. Heat liquids til very warm (120-130◦ on thermometer) and add, blending dough in bowl with hands, then turning it onto floured board. Knead 10-12 min; it should be elastic but not sticky.

Cover dough on board with a tea towel and let rest 10 min. Divide into 2 cylinders. Place in greased 4 x 8 loaf pans. Let rise in warm place til dough domes up over top of pans, about 75 mins.

Bake in preheated 350 oven 45 mins or until loaf sounds hollow when tapped on its bottom.

Amie’s Endnotes

My mother married Bob when I was twelve and for a long time, I refused to think of him in fatherly terms. Bob was too old, too nice, too hokey. Bob never got mad, never raised his voice. He was goofy. Ice cream delighted him. He had a closet full of polyester pants and worked at the local newspaper. He wore bifocals. He whistled constantly and did crossword puzzles. He wore gingham shirts (short-sleeved, at that) and bow ties. And Keds—Keds!—on weekends, with plaid shorts. He drove a Volvo wagon and subscribed to National Geographic. Bob was too damn nice. And he would never be my father.

The official Cook & Tell Chief of Stuff, aka Shopper Bob, at the island Town Landing